Fanservice
by Open Casket Ceremony
Summary: Bleach Episode 228 was filled with fanservice. Only one thing could make this filler episode bearable for Ichigo, but unfortunately, things never work out the way he wishes they would. Oneshot, IchiHitsu, humorfic. Based off of Bleach Episode 228.


Author's Note: Due to popular opinion, I'm going to add a second part to _Don't Forget_. I'm about halfway done with it right now, and I may post it either later today or tomorrow, depending on my mood. All you get for nows, however - is this silly little thing I decided to do because I was freaking bored. Before you read it, though, I suggest you either watch Bleach Episode 228 on Youtube or read the manga omake titled "Bleach at the Beach" or something like that, the better option being the anime episode - which is, I regret to say, a fanservice-loaded filler. It's okay if you don't, but if you did, I think you'd understand this one a lot better. You can also tell that I tried to be funny here - and failed miserably. Terribly sorry about that!

* * *

**Fanservice**

**by Open Casket Ceremony**

* * *

It was a searingly sunny day, complete with crisp blue skies, and the group of soul reapers, plus Ichigo, Orihime, Ishida, and Chad, had the pristine, picturesque beach all to themselves. Sparkling seas, glowing sands...yes, they were all theirs for the day.

But, despite the setting, Ichigo was far from being in a good mood.

Today, for some reason, more than any other day, was filled with something that we would call _fanservice_. The girls got to see buff men such as Renji and Byakuya in beach attire, and the guys got to see big-breasted women like Matsumoto in tiny bikinis.

Ichigo, on the other hand, was wondering when he would get the fanservice that _he_ wanted.

This, of course, was a scene that he had played in his mind various times prior to their arrival at the seaside. He had liked it so much that he was beyond confident that the studio exec's would stick it in, too.

He sighed loudly, his daydream running through his mind again.

_It would be sunset. The sky would be painted in scarlet and gold, and the sea would be shimmering like thousands of sapphires. Hitsugaya would stand by the waves, his perfect, slender, beautiful body sillhouetted against the setting sun. A romantic melody would float through the balmly air, and the boy would look at Ichigo with a smile. "Come here, Kurosaki," he would say, his voice velvety and eyes glowing with longing...and then the rest wouldn't be very appropriate to air on television at all._

Oh, if only this sweet, beautiful dream could become a reality, even if only for just one lousy filler episode!

But, the truth is cruel. He wasn't even close to achieving this kind of fantasy. In fact, Hitsugaya had sulked indoors all day, refusing to go outside into the hot sun, making up all sorts of excuses. He was sensitive to the heat, he had said, and he was going to get heatstroke in a matter of seconds. Ichigo had promised to hold a sun parasol over him at all times, but Hitsugaya had retorted that he was tired and wanted to sleep, and had then proceeded to shoo the dejected strawberry outside and back onto the beach, all by his lonesome self.

He had tried venting his frustration with Ikkaku and Renji by furiously clawing at their sand castle, trying to make a door for it, but that had failed miserably. The whole damn thing had collapsed thanks to a crab that had mysteriously appeared in Ikkaku's fun spot.

However, they had a feeling that a certain pink-haired devil was behind this crime.

Then some random watermelon-shaped monster with tentacles had sprung from the sea - oh _god_, just what were the studio exec's thinking!?

Ichigo had stood stupidly, his mouth opening and closing. He was _not_ in the mood for this crap, he'd let someone else take care of the situation. The event had gone by without much more action, but Renji had taken note that Ichigo, unlike his normal self, hadn't played the role of hero and hadn't kicked the crap out of the watermelon tentacle novice-hentai beast.

"If it was Hitsugaya-taichou ensnared in one of those tentacles, Ichigo would've gone all out and beat the shit out of that thing," Renji whispered from somewhere behind him, and Ichigo spun around in fury.

"Would not!" he retorted, "Why would I waste my time rescuing that brat!?"

"Because you like him!"

"Do not!"

"Yes, you do!"

"Shut up!"

"Imagine," Renji instructed, his arms spread for emphasis, his voice dramatic as he improvised a scenario, "Imagine Hitsugaya-taichou runs outside to see what the commotion is. The monster sees him, opens its mouth and shows its ugly teeth. And then it says, 'What a pretty little boy!' And then it reaches over with its tentacles...and _grabs_ Hitsugaya-taichou!"

Ichigo stared at him blankly.

Renji tried again.

"And...And then imagine the monster says, 'I am going to have fun with this pretty little boy!' Then, the monster will cackle wildly, with Hitsugaya-taichou dangling helplessly in the air!"

"Why, you son of a..."

"And then Hitsugaya-taichou will say..." At this point, Renji's voice became high-pitched in an attempt to imitate the young captain, "_Help me, Kurosaki-kun!_ _I don't want to be deflowered by this beast! I was saving my virginity for **you**!_"

"Shut up, Renji!" Ichigo roared in fury, throwing himself at the redhead in rage.

"What, are you imagining it?" Renji snickered.

"I am _not_!" Ichigo snarled, despite the mad blush that had sprung onto his face as he seized Renji by the ponytail, intent on causing him serious physical damage. "Don't you talk about Toshiro like that, you pervert!"

"And then, you'll come running heroically!" Renji choked out, a gleeful smile on his face as he wrenched free from Ichigo's iron grip and danced out of his reach, "But it'll be too late! Hitsugaya-taichou will be dangling upside-down in the air, and then he'll scream some more, and then the monster will reach out with its other tentacles, and then it'll...(Author's Note: Due to the graphic nature of Renji's overactive imagination, unfortunately, I cannot write out the rest of this sentence. I trust that you, as the reader, however, can use your own imaginations, which are probably just as screwed up as Renji's.)...!"

Ichigo's face was redder than a ripe strawberry.

_"You asshole!"_ he shrieked, seizing Renji by the shoulders, shoving him hard, into the sand. "How dare you say something like that!" With his foot, he ground the pineapple-like head into the dirt. "How could you!? What's wrong with you!? Have you been looking at too much hentai on the internet or something!?"

"What's going on?"

Ichigo spun around. He knew that voice. He knew that sweet, beautiful voice...

"Toshiro!" he exclaimed, delighted.

Hitsugaya crossed his arms over his chest. Much to Ichigo's disappointment, he was not clad in a swimsuit, but basic beachside attire in such a way that no unecessary skin beyond the arms and legs was shown.

"I asked a question."

"Oh, right," Ichigo responded hurriedly, "Renji here's just...he just had a little too much sugar today."

"I see."

"Well," Ichigo asked, coughing nervously, "What brings you out here? I thought you were gonna stay inside..."

"What?" Hitsugaya demanded, giving Ichigo a glare, "Did you want me to stay in there that badly?"

"N-No!" the horrified strawberry spluttered, "That's not what I meant-"

"If you must know," the snow-haired prodigy cut him off acidly, "Matsumoto popped in to check on me, and when she did, she took Hyorinmaru and ran off with it. I came to find her and reclaim it. And besides, the sun is about to set - I won't have to worry so much about the heat right now."

"Oh, taichouuuu!"

Speaking of Matsumoto, the aforementioned woman was now standing by the sea, waving at her captain and Ichigo with one hand, Hyorinmaru clasped mischeviously in the other.

"You want you sword, taichouuuu?"

"Give it back to me, woman!"

"Go fetch it!" Matsumoto shrieked delightedly, tossing the unfortunate zanpaku-to into the blue waves.

Hitsugaya's eyes widened in horror.

_"MATSUMOTO!!!"_

Giggling, the busty tenth-division fukutaichou scampered off. Horrorstruck, Hitsugaya rushed to the waves, wincing as the icy liquid hit his ankles. Scowling and muttering to himself, he bent over, searching the water for any signs of his precious katana.

Ichigo watched him, his mouth hanging stupidly open.

Okay, maybe Hitsugaya wasn't in the same attire as he had been in his daydream. And maybe the look on his face wasn't exactly the one he had imagined in his mind, but the sunset, the sparkling waves...oh, this was as real as it was going to get. Could it be...?

His thoughts were interuppted by Hitsugaya's voice.

"Kurosaki," he said softly, "Come here."

Oh. My. God. Ichigo couldn't believe it. Was this really happening? His inner self was singing with sheer happiness as he approached, stepping through the sand to get to the white-haired, emerald-eyed, dark-lashed beauty. He would remember to thank the studio exec's for this later!

Hitsugaya looked up at him.

Ichigo looked back.

Now, he thought, would be the perfect time to bend down and kiss him. A romantic tune played softly in his mind. It had finally come! The moment he had been waiting and praying for! Finally, his _fanservice_!

"Kurosaki..."

"Yeah, Toshiro?"

Something was not right. That glint in those pretty aquamarine eyes was not one of longing - it seemed almost malevolent.

"Go find my zanpaku-to!" was the fierce reply as the young captain shoved the strawberry face-first into the water with all his strength, sending the bewildered Ichigo splashing into the icy waves, "And don't you dare come back until you've found it!"

With that, like a spoiled primadonna, Hitsugaya stormed away back up the beach, leaving a soaking wet Ichigo to sullenly search the waves for the missing Hyorinmaru.


End file.
